HmmBreezy
by Mesira Riddle
Summary: Ginny gets Ron to do the unthinkably embarrassing & poor Snape is forced to save the boy from the pervy clutches of Draco. Will Ron survive untouched? Can Snape handle these three much longer? Cross-dress/cross-gender Ron. Crazy 'Mione. Missing Harry,oops


**Disclaimer: I dont own any characters, settings or anything else in the Harry Potter series. it all belongs to JK Rowling.**

**Ok so I wrote _it felt good_ a little while back and everyone seemed to love it (thanks for the reviews LovelyAlice831, Lila, and SnarkySnape1313) and I figured I might come up with something as awesomely silly and different with the other two of the Golden Trio. Great things come in 3's right? I couldn't help but linking this story and _it felt good_. So again: poor, poor Snape. Does it seem like he's my favorite character? If he wasn't he is starting to be! **

I'm also thinking on Harry's mini adventure but I'm not sure how to go about it. Reviews and suggestions are always helpful (and awesome) but enjoying the story's the best part.

**Also I cracked up laughing at the bold sentence I wrote. I hope you do too, because in this situation it seems fitting and like something he'd say.  
**

**

* * *

**

'_Hmm, breezy'._ Ron shuddered pulling his House robes tighter around him. Oh how he was going to get Ginny back for this later. '_Never again, I'm never playing truth or dare with that little witch again.'_ Ron glared at the desk in front of him as he remembered the events leading up to his punishment.

_'You never pick truth Ron!' Ginny grumbled crossing her arms over her chest. I rolled my eyes with a smirk._

_ 'Well neither do_ you _and I'm your older brother! You're supposed to trust me with your secrets!' I said copying her crossed arms with a knowing smile. Her ears went red as she glared at me._

_ 'No Ron, I'd trust Hermione or an older sister with secrets. Older brothers are simply out of the question! Now if you'd like to change that you could accept the following dare and I'll tell you one of my deepest secrets.' Ginny said a mischievous smile playing on her face. I raised an eyebrow but nodded slowly. _

Ron sighed as he felt his knickers riding up on him. '_Why did she have to include the knickers? I miss my boxers.'_ He grumbled as he walked into the cold dungeon for potions. He shivered as the cool air traveled up his robes. Had he been wearing his proper school uniform he wouldn't have minded much but Ginny was a wicked witch.

Hermione looked over and started giggling as she watched him take a seat beside him. He looked at her and then glared, "She told you, didn't she?"

"What colour is it? I was hoping she'd make you wear some girly shoes but since you're not in heels I guess not." Hermione frowned in disappointment as she looked at his shoes from under the desk. "Pity."

"It's the same colour as yours. I may be forced into this but I have my pride, I'm sure as hell not wearing Slytherin's bloody colours." Ron sneered at the Potions Master that appeared at the front of the class room. Snape began to talk about the potion they'd be making but Ron was too busy trying to keep his skirt down. _'Dress like a girl for a day' she says. If I wasn't so damn nosy I'd have flat out refused._ Neville was looking nervous sitting beside him as they began to work on the potion.

"Longbottom! Don't add that!" Snape hissed as Neville dropped the wrong ingredient into the cauldron, causing it to explode over everyone and everything in an eight foot radius. Ron had been yawning at that moment thinking about what he might have looked like if he had been born a girl; '_it seems only fitting, I'd probably be smokin' hot. No one can resist a sexy red head_.' He licked his lips as the potion splattered onto his face, '_tastes like chocolate.'_

"Mister Weasley?" Snape seemed confused and Ron froze thinking his robe had opened to reveal his girly blouse and skirt. He sat up and was alarmed when long fiery red hair fell past his shoulders and ran down his chest.

"Professor?" Ron said. '_Bloody hell, I thought I was past the squeaky voice stage of puberty!'_ Ron lowered his gaze as a blush crept across his ears and cheeks when he realized there was something sticking out from his chest. "What the?" Ron asked, his voice was still high pitched and he grabbed at the things on his chest. '_They're squishy…Big too…what the bloody hell?'_ Ron squished the foreign objects together and then pulled them as if trying to get them off his chest. He yelped when they painfully refused to leave.

Ron's hands traveled down his body. '_This feels more like how Hermione might feel.'_ Ron paled when he grabbed his crotch and found nothing there. He leapt from his seat revealing to the whole class his strange choice in wardrobe and a startlingly female figure. He lifted his skirt, flashing the entire room his lacy red and gold knickers and screamed out in fright. "_**I've lost me man bits!"**_

Ron darted from the room and ran screaming down the hall and up the stairs toward the staircase. He slipped and fell on the brick underfoot and pulled himself up and caught his breath at the entrance of the Great Hall. He heard a whistle and turned to see the very last person he wanted to in this condition.

Draco strutted over to the "new student", she was hot with a capital h. She seemed shocked and annoyed by him at first glance. '_Time for the good old Slytherin charm.'_ He thought as he smirked at Ron and leaned against the wall in front of him. "Hello Love, name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. Do you have a name as beautiful as you, or should I just call you gorgeous?"

"Malfoy?" she asked, he saw the Gryffindor colours and frowned. '_No matter, it'll probably help to piss off Potter and the rest of the 'Golden Trio.' She looks like she might be Weasley's cousin so she's probably a Pureblood as well.'_ He leaned in closer and put some smolder in his eyes.

"Yes Love?" Draco asked mere centimeters from Ron's rosy red lips.

"Mr. Weasley!" Snape called out stomping toward the two.

"Oh thank Merlin!" Ron squeaked running back to the man.

"Mister?" Draco asked looking at Ron trying to figure out what Snape meant.

"Mister Malfoy, I will be escorting Mr. Weasley here back to class, I suggest you return to your class as well before trouble finds you." Snape grabbed Ron's shoulder roughly and pulled the she-male back toward the dungeons. Draco was as white as paper as he returned to class. '_I may never live this down…Draco, you idiot.'_

"Professor!" Hermione squealed as he and Ron reentered the classroom. Snape jumped and flung the Weasley in front of him in protection.

"Granger, you know the new rule since your outburst last week. We will _not _be repeating that scene." Snape said eyeing her angrily.

"If you change me back I can be more than a human shield _professor_." Ron growled as Snape pulled him by the scruff of his robe to the potions cabinet, and pulled out a dark silver potion. He looked at Ron momentarily who was about to say something else offensive when Snape shoved the bottle into his mouth and grabbed his hair to make him lean his head back. The potion disappeared from the vial and soon Ron was standing in the middle of the potions room with everything intact.

Ron _had_ to check though. Ron lifted his skirt once more, this time only flashing the poor potions professor then flung his arms around the greasy haired man shrieking in glee that his man bits were back. Snape ripped his arms out of the hug and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders to forcefully rip Ron from his person.

"I don't give a damn about your male anatomy Weasley but Molly would have my head if you remained a girl. Also, 50 points from Gryffindor for inappropriate attire, 50 points for inappropriate displays of affection and 25 points from Gryffindor for seducing another student while being under the influence of a potion." Snape removed his hands from the now upset boy.

"But I was just thanking you, Ginny dared me, and Draco came onto me!" Ron argued. Snape just stared and smirked.

"A week's worth of detention for the lip Weasley." Snape said. He went to turn around when Hermione popped up behind him with a scroll of parchment in her grasp. He raised his eye brow in suspicion and yelped jumping back toward Ron when she tried to give it to him. "Miss Granger I thought I told you that you are no longer allowed to hand in homework. _Ever." _He growled.

"But professor that's not fair!" Hermione shrieked throwing the scroll down and glaring up at the black haired man.

"Weasley…I'll take back that detention if you and Potter get her out of here." Snape said using Ron as a human shield again.

"Of course Professor." Ron rolled his eyes, "Oi! Hermione did you hear? The Library's got a huge new section put in today about ancient runes they found in Ireland!" Ron faked enthusiasm but Hermione perked up and grabbed her bag running excitedly out of the room.

"How did you do that?" Snape asked shocked as he watched the dungeon door slam behind the mousey brown haired girl.

"You gotta know how to excite 'em Professor." Ron said smirking proudly.

"Like you did Mister Malfoy?" Snape smirked as Ron paled, then blushed.

"Shall we never talk about this again Professor?" Ron asked grabbed his school bag. Snape nodded.

"No one should know about your _man bits_ Mr. Weasley. _No one._" Snape said returning to his desk.


End file.
